Being first time parents has been a huge responsibility
and completely life changing for us.
And honestly, trying to get used to this whole mommy thing
has been somewhat of a challenge for me.
This weekend Vaughn and I learned for the first time
what REAL parenthood consists of.
Vomit, diarrhea, 50 loads of laundry, vomit, countless baths,
outfit and diaper changes, diarrhea...and did I mention vomit?
All within the span of 48 hours.
I experienced my first
run-with-baby-to-the-bathroom-while-baby-is-barfing episode.
Not fun.
It started on Friday evening, when we checked on Ava
just before we climbed into bed and
discovered that she had thrown up all over herself.
We felt like horrible parents and we couldn't believe it.
She had crusty throw up dried to her face,
clothes and all over in the crib.
Not once did she cry or make a peep
to let us know what had happened!
poor sweet little angel.
So after our eventful weekend,
we decided that major props must be given to our parents
and all parents around the world for that matter.
Because dealing with barf, blowouts and a
sick baby at 3:00 am deserves a medal.
Our lives dramatically changed in October 2010,
going from just the two of us, to a family of three.
We welcomed our greatest gift, our precious baby, Ava Pearl.
With her arrival priorities shifted (still do), love was plentiful (still is)
and life changed forever. I think about the person I was before
I became pregnant with Ava and how different she is now.
Not that my character changed, I just didn't know that my priorities
were headed toward a whole direction.
Since becoming a momma, lots of things have been
new and completely foreign to me.
I've had quite a few times where I think that
I'm just not cut out for this whole parent thing.
I've had certain thoughts and feelings
and have wondered if other women think and feel similar things.
Then I found this humorous
blog and realized, yes, they do!
I'm not alone after all.
I've been really trying to put this wonderful quote
into practice and just go with the flow.
It's true, everything cannot be perfect all of the time.
Our home is rarely spotless these days,
there is a steady stream of laundry to be done,
dishes in the sink and I'm not always 100% put together
and quite often, I'm lucky to even get a shower.
Some days I don't even feel like a human being.
I feel like I'm Ava's personal assistant put on robot-mode.
I am a mess cleaner, a full-time-24-hours-a-day employee,
a chef, a diaper changer, a bottle maker, a binky finder, a mess cleaner,
a teacher, a console(r), a lullaby singer, a snot wiper, a book reader,
a mess cleaner, a fashion consultant, a nurse,
an "ouchy, bonk-bonk and boo-boo" kisser, an entertainer
and a mess cleaner.
I am a momma.
This was just one of the many messes Ava made today :)
Q-tip anyone?
Another thing that no one warned me about is
how much your body changes after having a baby.
Crap, it's hard!
I used to be confident, could wear a swimsuit no problem
and was pretty happy with the body I had but,
now I desperately wish I had my old body back more than anything.
No one told me how hard it is to get back to your pre-pregnancy size.
I didn't get any stretch marks
and I'm so grateful for that but, I still have about 4-5 pounds
to go to meet that goal weight
and it's really hard for me to just accept my body for how it is now.
My sweet, attentive husband has had to console me
countless times on this body image matter.
He always tells me that I'm even more beautiful now
than before and that is just so sweet but
then I look in the mirror and have a hard time seeing that.
Day by day, very slowly, trying to get my confidence back.
Vaughn truly does help immensely, I'm so blessed to have him.
.
Having a baby has definitely made us stay home more,
spend more time together
and really let this whole family of three business sink in.
Most often we couldn't be more happier
about spending our nights home together.
We do however, miss the spontaneity we had before having a baby.
To just come and go as we please.
If we felt like going to get a treat a 10:00 pm, we did it, together.
Now if we want to do that, only one of us goes.
I don't care who ya are, it's just not as fun to go get treats alone.
I love being with my husband.
Every second we get together is priceless to me
(especially since we get practically
zero time together due to a totally hectic work and school schedule)
so not being able to do things like that together are hard for me.
I'm in no way trying to complain or any such thing,
just sharing my thoughts and experiences
and trying to adjust to this thing called motherhood.
And honestly, I don’t want you to think I’m not enjoying motherhood…
because I am. It’s just A LOT different and
A LOT more challenging than I thought it would be!
I found this clever
article:
Nine Things You Should Never Say to a Stay-at-Home Mom
Despite all the hard work and long days,
it's worth it when it's said and done.
Because things that used to be important
and things I used to call beautiful (and sometimes still do) that
once consumed my thoughts?
They don't hold a candle to this beauty...